SPEAKER_00 0:02

Brace yourself, friends, or keep breathing, really. Uh one of the hardest things to consider is what it might really be like to lose your child, a child to cancer, and how one might could possibly continue living after that unimaginable grief. In this episode, Lauren Reagan shares the story of her son Declan's pediatric cancer journey and the journey they took together through that, the emotional reality of grief, and how blood transfusions and platelet donations became a critical lifeline during treatment. After experiencing profound loss, Lauren transformed her grief into advocacy work with Blood Works Northwest helping families facing medical crises and raising awareness about the urgent need uh for blood donation.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Yeah, what a profound conversation it was. And uh we were introduced to Lauren from a friend of mine who works for Blood Works, and um he just said you gotta hear her story. Uh and it really was amazing. So in addition to the grief and loss of walking through pediatric cancer, we also explore uh the way mother, you know, motherhood and and I guess fatherhood be true too. Um just parenting and and healing and the quiet ways that people can really make a life-saving difference for others. Uh we want to recognize these can be difficult things to consider. So please take care of yourselves if you choose to join us as we uh uh discussed in this episode what it's like to lose a child to cancer, uh what pediatric cancer is and looks like, and the grief family and friends experience going through that. Uh what blood transfusions and plateload donations are, why they matter so much, especially in this case. Uh and then, of course, healing. How does one heal after such a devastating loss? And then Lauren shares with us how she turned her grief into purpose. And she did so by supporting families going through the same kind of thing, grieving families and friends, and then through her advocacy and her community care. So she really shows us the way forward. So whether you've experienced these world-shattering events yourself or work in the end-of-life caregiving, or maybe medical services or just really simply want to understand better the deep impact of pediatric cancer. This episode offers you a compassionate and a deeply human conversation about love and grief and purpose. So welcome. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Welcome to this episode of End of Life Conversations. I am the Reverend Mother Ana Luisa Armendaris. Today we are speaking with Lauren Reagan. Lauren serves as the community engagement liaison for Bloodworks Northwest, where she champions the growth and stability of the Pacific Northwest's blood supply. Lauren's professional dedication is deeply rooted in her personal journey. As a mother of twins, her life was profoundly reshaped by the loss of one of her children to cancer. This experience instilled in her a perspective of radical resilience and a firsthand understanding of the critical role blood products play in pediatric oncology and emergency care.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

That's a big thing. So thank you for being willing to share and being willing to uh come talk to us today. I appreciate you very much. I am the Reverend Wakhail David Matthews. Lauren has transformed her grief into advocacy, using her voice to ensure that no patient and no family is left without the resources they need during their most vulnerable moments. Her work is more than a career. It's a mission to build a more secure and compassionate community. One donation at a time. Beautiful, beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Yes. And Lauren, I just want to take a moment, though, and I say to you, I am very sorry for your loss. And I'm really grateful that you are willing to share your story with us.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Thank you so much for having me. It is uh a tough conversation, but I absolutely love to share uh my story and how I've gotten to this position. So thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_04 4:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

So we're gonna start out by asking you, how did you get interested in Bloodworks Northwest? What or why did you what what launched you into this? Yeah, into this realm.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Well, like you said, I lost my child, um, my oldest, well, oldest by eight minutes, my son Declan. Uh, in 2016, he was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. So overnight, as you can imagine, we're talking to doctors and they're like, we're gonna give you 24 hours, go home, pack a bag, you're moving into the hospital for 30 days at minimum. So instantaneously, our world has shifted upside down and having identical twins that had never been separated, we were entering what I call cancer land. It's a whole, you know, different realm, and you learn quickly and it's very fast paced. So with leukemia, you need a lot of blood transfusions. And Declan had a total in the two years during his battle, 76 blood transfusions and 108 platelet transfusions. And the hospitals where he was getting his treatment were the blood products were provided from Bloodworks Northwest. And we were very fortunate that during this entire journey, financial loss was not part of our story, where it is for some. And a lot of people, and we're we're well knitted community, and we I'm originally from the East Coast, we're on the West Coast, large family presence, and I've lived all over the country, and everyone wanted to know what they could do to help. And my response was, can you please donate blood? My child is consuming a ton of blood product, and it is something that we do not need any financial support, but we could absolutely love supporting the community to support my son and other cancer patients as we were embarking on this journey. That is where I started actually volunteering for Blood Works. And Declan and I sometimes would stop by the center or any of the mobile units and hosting blood drives. He thought they he called them blood parties. He thought each individual donor, like that was blood that he was getting in a couple of weeks. So loving to try to make something lighthearted, but also just a deep, deep impact. Um once my son was deemed terminal, life kind of, you know, you you shift gears, uh grieving. Um as you're going through the motions, you're making decisions, you're you're signing DNRs for a six-year-old. Like when I became a mother, I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be talking through end-of-life care. How do you approach hospice care? And the way they approach hospice care with children is separate than how with adults. So you can still actively be seeking treatments. We went to St. Jude's, and I remember being in St. Jude's, being in the room with the doctors letting, you know, letting me know, unfortunately, there's no more of what we can do for your child. At this point, I have been told this like four times. So I was like, I want to say it gets a little bit easier. It's a really interesting dynamic when you're sitting in those rooms and you're having these conversations. But as part of my son's hospice plan, it was about time. I live in Southwest Washington. Our hospitals were in the Portland Metro. Easily it could take us an hour, hour and a half stuck in traffic. So, what can we do to use the hospital? That's only 15 minutes. Where the hospital actually had a NICU nurse who was trained on my son's port. So they rearranged her work schedule. So twice a week, we would go to the hospital, check into the maternity ward, and my son would receive two units of blood products twice a week. Originally, we were sent home with life expectancy about two weeks. Due to blood donors, I actually got five months. And when you're talking the span of a the life of a six-year-old, having those five extra months allowed me to grieve as we were going through this and process and plan because it wasn't going to be an unexpected death. But I was able to kind of as much of the bucket list that you could create for a six-year-old, right? If he wanted to go camping, we went camping. You wanted to go to the beach, we went to the beach. And we were able to just have that um freedom to create more memories with him, which I cherish. And that is solely due to blood donors. Uh I had a career in hospitality management and running and working with hotels and high-end clients post-this experience. And when the pandemic hit, I took it as a wake-up call. Maybe I need to be doing something different with my life. And I started researching nonprofits that I had worked with during my son's illness in Bloodworks at a position. And I was like, wait, I can do that. And I know them. Uh so fastest hiring process I think I've ever been through from phone interview to first day was two and a half weeks. And even being on the back end, they're like, we match up your email addresses. And we're like, it is her. We've worked with first. My first day, I walked into the Vancouver Donor Center to see Jake Cole, who is now supervisor. And the last time I had seen Jake was actually at my son's memorial service. I'd formed such a relationship with the phlebotomist that several of them were at my son's memorial service. So it was a full circle moment. And it is amazing to be able to work with a company that this huge loss in my life, I get to talk to every day and talk about, right? Like when I'm talking, I always tell people when I'm doing presentations to find your why you're donating. You know, people have different ones. And I was like, my wine is my son. I personally, it's gonna take me a while to donate back all the products that he used. So I'm able to share his story, talking to young donors. I'm really passionate about high school age donors and turning them into lifelong donors. And so that's kind of like how I ended up here, how I learned about blood. And I can also take my personal experience of I've watched a lot of blood products be hung over the two years I lived in hospitals. And I always share that I never, when the doctors are like, oh, his blood counts are low, we're gonna need to do a transfusion today. The blood was always there. And today, would that be the same case? Would they allow a terminally ill child to receive blood products that could go to a possible uh patient that would have a better outcome or an emergent need that the ER has? I don't know, but we want to make sure that we keep that blood supply nice and robust so we can make sure that everyone has it. And if there is another, you know, family that's similar to mine that could just use some extra time to love and create memories.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

What a great uh what great lore your son and you have.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Yeah, exactly. You know, you know, what came up as I was listening is um that I'd like to hear more about is your your other child. Um, can you tell us about what that experience was like for them? And yeah, and and how's he doing? Maybe ongoing, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Uh-huh. My son Adrian, so he just turned 14 and he's doing really well. It has been an adjustment. Um, no one understands the relationship of identical twins. I have never claimed to understand their bond from the moment they were born, and how they they eerily know he spent some time on the East Coast while his brother was sick, and my mom called me and he's like, Adrian just keeps saying Declan's not okay and that he's not feeling good. And it was a it was a rough day at the hospital. So like just that intuition. Um we have a great support system. My son also, you know, along with myself, counseling, learning tools, how to cope, how being identical twins, they had a built-in playmate and they didn't need to compromise. And they didn't need, you know, if they wanted to play with their dinosaurs, they played dinosaurs. So Adrian had to learn navigating the world, how to communicate with other folks that just don't, you know, like that intuition that knows what game you want to play. And he's doing fantastic. Uh, he is thriving, he participates in tons of activities, making friends, socializing. Uh, but it took a step, you know. Once his brother passed away, he went really uh introverted, kind of quiet, didn't really speak to people outside of his parents for probably about three months. Um, just it's a new way of learning life. Um, but he has these memories of his brother. We have lots and lots of videos, you know, having that extra time. I recorded the arguments I recorded. You know, them playing, just the funny little, you know, isms that children when they're playing together. So it's great that we can reflect on those memories and um still have him with us. Yeah, that's he is with us. That's so fabulous.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

That's so beautiful. I love that. Oh yeah, thank you. That's this is really moving, very deeply moving.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

It it is moving and it's so joyful. I mean, I sense by your presence and your the work that you're doing is that you have shaped that experience into a cornucopia of gifts for so many more people, right? Like I'm sure you get calls from other mothers who might be starting this journey such as you had done if you know six, seven years ago. And it's you're a gem, you know. You're a gem, and I could see that. So I'm so delighted to have you today.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Yeah, yeah. So nice to talk to you and appreciate you a lot.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Yeah. Thank you so much. I and it is true. We do work, um, I think it was about three weeks ago, it was almost like a snowball effect where we had four brand new pediatric oncology patients that reached out to us. Um, I have a great relationship still with all of the oncology nurses. I have been a keynote speaker for our hospital, um, Randall's Children in Portland. I absolutely love that facility and hospital, and they're actually one of our client groups. So I worked with them. But that also comes with a little bit of, you know, sometimes anxiety and grief when I'm walking back into the hospital where I spent well close to 200 days in and being able to meet with them and provide that care. But I also have that realistic, um, I know what those parents are going through. So when they call and they're like, it's just not a good day. I'm like, I understand we can, you know, push forward, not hold back where my experience has shaped that. So I'm able to understand where they are at. And I think it it really helps and being able to just still still do the work that we do and collect the blood units that we need, but making sure we meet families where they're at at those times.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

And what is it like to be in? I mean, I actually I am going to make assumptions and I want you to like shift those for me. But you know what I really also appe uh uh uh love about your story is that you are in a space still in community with the people who were there at the very end of your son's life. And it feels like that community just you bonded really um intensely and you're still together and you must still support each other, right? As you have, because that not every day is an easy day for caregivers in hospitals. So what's it like to be with? I mean, it's like a chosen family almost.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Yeah, it's been amazing to continue these relationships, especially with the nurses. Because for me, I remember some of the nurses. I actually was at the Brandles Gala and Nurse Brie was my night nurse. Uh during Declan's treatment, he swept schedules with all the different medications. We were up all night long. It was a party. And Nurse Bree was just such a joy to almost a decade later, she had twins herself. And I saw her and she's like, I have two-year-old twins. I don't know how you did. She was like, I have a whole new level of profound respect and empathy, and just feel like she's like, I have these two babies, and she's like, You had two babies, but now you just have your one. And I was like, I still have my two babies, it's just a little bit different realms, and they're both work with you. They are still here, they are still making an impact. But for me, it's it's interesting to see my son Adrian, how he's developing, especially like going into teen and finding himself where I've got Declan who made such this profound influence, not on just myself, but all the people he met, the phlebotomists, the different cancer patients. Uh, he used to refer to them coming to the hospital because if they only had to do one or two nights, he's like, My friends are coming for a sleepover. And I was like, Yes, as much as we normalize, yes, we are all having sleepovers in the hospital, and it is fantastic. But my son's story still, you know, it's 10 times more than what it even started and his impact, which I absolutely love and relish in. Um, even he is the background on my computer on his sixth birthday, which was his last birthday. We went to every single Blood Worth Northwest location, Blood Drive offices, and dropped off donuts to celebrate his birthday. And we absolutely love it. And the phlebotomy team at Blood Works still celebrates him. I come into work and we have Declan t-shirts that they've had for almost a decade that I'll be like, that's my kiddo. Like that's uh or coming into one of my coworkers' office, and I was like, that picture. I was like, I don't have that picture of my kid. I was like, can I have it? Like, can you send that to me? So it's great because you know, his enthusiasm and being able, he was so excited whenever he was around blood donors and the phlebotomists, where it's like you can be terminally ill, but there is so much joy still to be had. And I think that was also what I've learned being in the world of pediatric oncology. You can have a child who feeling terrible, nauseous for medications, but they're like, let's let's rally. I still want to play, I want to still have so much fun and laughter, right? Like they may vomit and then they're like, let's go. Like versus where I think adults, the depression sets in, or the reality where we never really experienced that. And I even approached the memorial service for my son on how we were gonna do this and how did we frame it to his brother? So uh the day that he passed away, we call it his angel birthday. That is what we celebrate. It was also something the discussion with my surviving son, right? I hold joy and grief in the same day. They were their birthday, it is still their birthday. So, what we do is um their birthday is heavily focused on my surviving son, and Declan's Angel Day is meant for him. And that's when we celebrate the day that he passed. But even his memorial service, how do you explain to a bunch of children that was in his sphere? Like it was his heaven party, it was a joyous event. We worked with the um all the therapy animals that would come to the hospital. So we had several of them to see my surviving son like curled up on the floor with a golden retriever during such this heavy event, but we made it so lighthearted. And it was fantastic to be able to truly celebrate um my son, who he was, our family dynamic, and then being able to still be excited for the future. And I think that's you know, took me a while. I wouldn't say like day one, I was this joyous. This is, you know, we're coming up on the eighth anniversary of um my son's passing. But I also felt very at peace when he he passed that we accomplished everything we could. I have no regrets, I have no what-ifs, right? I think a lot of people, if they lose somebody suddenly, or especially with a prolonged illness, it's like, what if we did this experiment treatment? What if we went this route? What if we maybe we shouldn't have done this? Like, I have none of those. I've never had those. I've been very at peace. My son was able to pass away at home, surrounded by his family. And just, you know, it was so peaceful that, you know, I was speaking to him up to like two hours before he passed away. And he was very like lucid. And, you know, it's such a weird thing to talk about, but also just so common. Um, I think a lot of people don't talk about it enough. Right. And now I'm in another realm of my father is actively ill. My father doesn't have that much time left. And you know, he comes to me and he's just like, I'm so sorry. Putting you through this. I was like, you're not putting me through, you know. He's worried about how I'm doing. And I'm like, I'm okay. Like it's yeah, it's good. I was like, we need to plan because I am a planner. But you know, I was like, we're do, we're great. We are gonna celebrate the time that we have together, especially because I'm his only child that lives across the country. Um, but being able to go through these repetitions, and again, I was like, Dad, this is the first time I was like, my child did not have any assets to deal with. Right. I was like, I can go through the medical terminology and all of that, but I was like, as far as taxes, I have no idea. We're gonna have to call somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

I love that in a way, this is a great lesson for all of us. And um, and another way to approach our dying, you know, and approaching the dying in a with joy and with and with celebration and with looking for those ways that we can um yeah, be find the joy and the happiness and the the there really is the the the action act of dying is so often put in this place of oh, it's horrible and it's a horrible thing, you know. You're weak if you die, or you haven't fought hard enough, whatever. And and uh and to have that just have that sense of joy and playfulness and reminder that you know life what did somebody talk about in one of our podcasts? Like, don't forget about the dash, you know, like the birth date and the end date. There's that dash. That's really important. That's right. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Yeah, I really and I do want to make sure our listeners know that it doesn't, this isn't going to be everybody's experience. This isn't the the model that we you know ex assume that people will have. This is a model, and you're welcome to join in that model. And even Lauren, her her grief process took a while to get started too. Like this isn't like the next day and you're like, let's do this.

SPEAKER_04 24:00

Oh, that was good, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

You know, right? So I really I I want to say that it's um the joy that you bring is in creating the gem from this experience, creating the the gift that you can give to others through blood works, through the story, through your son. Um was it Adrian? Adrian who is here, and he can also express this story down the road about what it was like to have his twin brother pass and what happened afterwards. Like that's it's it's a gift that gets keeps on giving.

SPEAKER_04 24:35

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

Oh, a hundred percent. And it's all about um again, like I have an amazing support system that has gotten me from point A to point B. Yes, but it's also this is a roller coaster. I can't, yeah, I you know, as joyful as I am, their birthday was a couple of weeks ago. Did I spend the first two hours of my day watching videos sobbing in bed? Yes, absolutely. I have found it is better to feel that grief, feel the feelings, and then you know, go and actually wake up the birthday boy who's still, you know, they're not awake before noon at this age. So being able to take time for myself to then celebrate. Um, I find a lot that I I hold joy and grief. Um, I think if there was a lot in time where it was like, either should I be completely devastated? Right. Or where are you at? Because for me, especially comparatively, I do have other friends that have lost their children, but those were all singletons. So to be able to have twins and then identical twins, because I have Declan who's frozen in time at six years old. And now I have Adrian, who is the same height as me, which is devastating as a mother in its own right, where it's just like, oh man, or thinking he's gonna be getting a driving permit soon. And I was like, I remember when you were born and the thought of how am I gonna afford two kids driving at the same time, right? It's a different shift, and like does that bring a touch of sadness? It does. Yeah. And then I just reflect on all of the amazing memories that I have with Declan and the impact that he had and the impact that he still has uh through my work with my therapy and counseling throughout all of it. Yeah, you know, making sure that Declan had a lasting legacy is really important to me. And the opportunity to be employed with Bloodworks to as a thank you to Bloodworks who provided me that five extra months in the Blood Works donors is to continue his legacy and to be able to continue to speak about him and share his story. Because a lot of people hear there's an urgent need for blood, they immediately go, a car accident, a gunshot, a game, a stabbing. It's not, you know, a third of the the blood supply is going to chemotherapy patients and patients like my son. So making sure that there's a reliable supply for those that are, you know, in treatment is you know my my passion. But being able to continue my son's legacy is the most amazing portion of my my job. Yeah, I am a mission higher. I don't know if blood works is how I will ever walk away.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

I'm in it. Yeah. And someday you might not be, but for the minute you're full on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Yeah, full on, doing it well, doing it well, making it so making it so important and so much for us to all be aware of and hold. So thank you for that a lot. Um yeah. What is it? Where are we? This has been great. I've just this has been nice just to talk. And so we also keep our little list here for when we need them.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

Um we could change it up, Wachil, too. Because I think it's it, we've been this is a really I think that the the big pieces is is um blood donation is imperative.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

It's you know, I I have to say, I haven't donated blood in like 20 years just because it's out of my purview, right? Like it's where am I?

SPEAKER_04 28:18

You know.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

So I'm like, oh wait, this is my PSA. I'm gonna have to go get blood now. And you know, the other piece is uh the loss of a child brings you live in paradox. It's both grief riddled and joyous to have had that really precious and uh sweet time with your with your baby. And I I think that people need to hear that. It is not easy and you'll get through it, and you can be both uh deeply upset and also sweetly delighted in continuing to be here.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Yeah, yeah. And and it's it's a cycle that comes and goes. Yeah, your roller coaster, like you said, is a very well well equipped. And that's true in in many cases. I'm I'm living with a uh spouse who has a terminal d disease right now, and it's uh it's a roller coaster, you know. Part of the time you're I mean, we we live every day to the fullest that we can, and and and she's doing really well right now, so we're enjoying every minute, you know. But there's that roller coaster ride, even if it's not specifically, you know, um in the grief or in the anticipatory grief, it's just that sense, you know, that I don't know where I am, I don't know where I'm gonna be tomorrow. You know, that that also kind of contributes to that roller coaster that you were talking about earlier. So I appreciate that that reminder. Um do you find that people um do you find any resistance to like challenging challenges to your your mission? Do people resist the the sense that you know I should be giving blood or I or that this this matters that this matters? Or do you find that this pretty much a people are are hearing it? Are are people hearing it well enough, do you think, or is there more we could do and put it that way?

SPEAKER_03 30:00

I think there's always more that we can do. There is still a lot of myths about blood donations that stem from the the 80s plus where the FDA, yeah, with the um with the AIDS and also with Mad Cow from the 90s, a lot of the FDA has made so many rollbacks, right? Science has proven that XYZ does not mean that you are ineligible for donating blood. So being able to educate the public as quickly as they the FDA was announcing those. I came on to Blood Works in 2020. So since then there's been five major updates to the FDAs. A lot of people just, you know, even simple things like being diabetic. Um that does not disqualify you from donating blood. And a lot of people have never been asked. Yeah. And in the world that we are all so busy, like you know, it's something that just falls out of routine.

SPEAKER_04 31:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:01

And when you you get the max that you can donate blood in one year is six times. Most people average. But as of right now, we always say, like, blood works. If every single one of our donors donated just one more time a year, we would never have to talk about the blood supply. Everything is perfect, we have amazing levels. So being able to just bring on, not only just make a one-time donation, like try try gold, try to do two or three times in a year. It would just make such a substantial um support to be able to help. And there's coming out of, you know, like our younger donors, like I mentioned before, is a passion for mine. They're the kids that were fifth graders, right? If you need to be 16 to be able to donate, Washington State, you need a parent permission form. Um they were fifth graders, fourth graders during the pandemic. They lost those years, and anxiety is so high within those age groups now that the thought of donating blood is just petrifying to them. So it's been amazing to watch students come out of their shell, try it, having great experiences and being able to come back and be repeat donors. Nothing beats it when I'm on it's Christmas break and I'm at the Vancouver Donor Center, and we have high school students showing up that they're making this a priority for them to be able to continue donations. And now I have I've been in this job long enough that actually my first high school coordinator is now an employee with Bloodworks. And she is now my coworker, which is amazing to just see the the, you know, that my story, the impact, the work, the mission that it's, you know, forming this next generation. I'm so excited to see it grow. We would absolutely love to see it grow faster than the current pace. Um, but it's making time and it's really interesting when we have our large mobile units out that are 40-foot buses, and somebody will drive by and they're like, oh, I needed to donate. Let me see. I've got I've got an hour real quick. Let me jump on the bus and do it. So whether it's part of your routine or you impulsively see one of our mobile units, like, please walk up, come in. The doors are always open to have donors come in because the need is so great. So great.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

Well, I'm gonna stop you there because, you know, as you were talking, I was like, I'm gonna donate blood. You've you've got, you know, I'm there. But I looked and there's a lot of different places to donate blood. And so I think that if you weren't here with me, I'd be like, like, where do you go? Because I, you know, I just saw I would go to American Red Cross because I see that name and I recognize it as something safe for me. But there's just like Griffles Biomap, PSL blood, uh vitallant blood donation. Like, how does one pick a place? And does it what does all blood go where?

SPEAKER_03 33:57

That's a great question. Um, so Bloodworks Northwest, we are based in Seattle, Washington. We are the provider for 95% of all the Pacific Northwest hospitals. So think everything in the state of Washington and Oregon. So we are your community local nonprofit blood bank. American Red Cross is an amazing organization that is nationwide. Right. They have been around since the 1800s. They've got, you know, so uh the way American Red Cross, right, their blood or their collections throughout the country goes throughout the country. Blood Works Northwest is very local to the Pacific Northwest, where you've got different blood banks like Southern Texas. And uh there's a couple of different regional ones. So you can do the research to find out like a local regional one for us, like we always say, like donate blood and donate locally because that's less transportation costs. Yeah, if blood's not having to be shipped across the country, you know, medical care costs is significantly reduced. So being able to find your local blood bank, um, there's even like a cohort of us. If you want to research the Blood Emergency Readiness Coalition, Bloodworks is part of that. And those are all the regional, smaller community blood banks. We actually go on call because nationwide disasters are happening much more frequently. Where before, say there was a massive transfusion event that was happening, that was like a mass shooting, the local blood bank is drained, they will call out across the country, be like, does anybody have extra units? And it was it was a gamble on who had some ready to go. So now we call it BERC, the Blood Emergency Readiness Coalition. We all go on call for two weeks at a time. So if there is a natural disaster, South Florida during a hurricane, you know, they were shut down for three days and not being able to get, but the hospitals still have patients and they still need the blood. So we were able to, thankfully, Bloodworks had an extra 150 units of blood. We were able to put it on a plane and help set helps you know, help Florida out during their their time of need. And that has happened here, you know, the Pacific Northwest, we get those horrible ice storms sometimes. And in order to keep just the Pacific Northwest, Bloodworks needs 1,000 people a day to show up and donate blood. Wow. So for us to not be operational for 24 to 72 hours would be devastating to the region's blood supply.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

Okay. Well, this is yeah, I'm learning so much. Like I'm literally looking around, it's like local blood donor space. Where do you who keeps blood in the year? You know, it's like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

Well, and I love that I think one of the biggest takeaways for me this this time was just uh just do it again. You know, if you've done it, it's been a while, go back and do it again. I mean, I I used to be doing it on a regular every other month basis. And um I forget something came up that I I think I was sick the last time, and I thought, or one time I went down, I had my blood pressure was too high because I ran down or because I was late. Um but um so anyway, it just you know it sort of fell off the radar, and now I'm thinking, oh yeah, I can go back and do that again. Um and I love that. That's a really good just kind of reminder to all of us that even just showing up one more time is gonna help. Um it's gonna be a make a difference. And if we all could show up one more time, there wouldn't be a problem. So uh yeah, I love that. So this is definitely a good, good uh public service announcement time for this one.

SPEAKER_04 37:28

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Um well this has been really awesome. Really appreciate your story. Um, is there anything you wish we'd have asked that we didn't get to or that you'd like to share? Ooh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Uh I think we covered everything. I think one of your questions was if I that was like a pre-one that you normally do is like if you fear passing, is that yeah. Yeah, I was thinking about this uh over the weekend, and it's it's fascinating in the the position that I'm in where I'm so happy for every day that I'm here. But I also don't fear passing myself because I know I get to be reunited with my son that I lost time with. So again, holding that joy and happiness where I'm spending all of this quality time with Adrian and hopefully future children for myself, that I also will look forward to the day that I'm reunited with my son, that time was cut short.

SPEAKER_04 38:26

Yeah, very sweet.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Still profoundly impactful. Those uh the quote that I sent you is one that we used for his that was actually like in his death announcement when we publicly let everyone know that he had passed was, you know, in those short few years. Man, did those years count? And just as a reminder that, you know, every day is a blessing, every year is a blessing, even with the turmoils and the ups and downs and the uncertainty, right? Life is uh it's life is messy, but there's also joy in that mess. And all I can think about is like, you know, stomping in puddles and getting muddy. It's just like, yes, it is is messy, and that warm shower afterwards feels fantastic. But the joy of playing in the mud and like stomping in those puddles, uh like just love life and loving every second of it. And when it comes to an end, it doesn't necessarily mean, you know, however your religious affiliations are. For me, I know that my son is out and about. Uh, even Adrian described for the longest time, he's like, Declan's not haunting us because somebody asked them if they're like, Oh, does he live in your house? Is like that. So, and he's like, he's an angel, he's busy helping other people. He doesn't have time to mess with me. Yes, he's out continuing to do the great work. He's the guardian angel to whether it's his father who's a police officer or his brother, especially once his brother goes out driving and being part of that world. But he's busy being an angel, he doesn't have time to to haunt us here at our home. Which I I I love it. It's Adrian makes such a fun quibs about it.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

Yeah, and honestly, you know, your son sounds like he was heard till the very end. And I feel like, you know, ghosties are trying to still say something that they that was left unsaid. He's fine.

SPEAKER_04 40:23

Yeah, yeah. He's fine.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

He's at peace, just as much as I'm at peace with, you know, like how it goes. But yes, it was um, it's it's been a fun adventure and it it's still it's still ongoing. Um, so we will we shall see what the future holds, and we'll continue to share his story and uh let his legacy grow.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

That's so good, so beautiful. And we're so honored to have had you join us today. So thank you so much. I want to read that. Yeah, it was good the quote. Um, yeah, it's from Abraham Lincoln, and we can read it twice, I think. So it says, and in the end, it's not the years in a life, it's the life in the years, just what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

That's right. And in the end, it's not the years in a life, it's the life in the years. Honestly, it's the life in the moments.

SPEAKER_04 41:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

And every single moment that we get to breathe in, breathe out. It's the life in there.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

Thank you for joining us today. Thank you to Charles Eastad, the composer of the original music you are listening to now.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

And of course, thanks to you, our audience, and all of our amazing guests. Please come back next week for another great episode of share this with your friends, family, and community. We hope you'll subscribe and follow us on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Blue Sky attack. And of course, if you have a code and a life story to share, please for childcare. We're always eager to hear from you.